I'm still getting used to using my own computer, having paid daily visits for the past four months to an internet cafe (whose outer display is a white plastic banner reading, INTERNET) and thus grown accustomed to periodically x-ing out any page that made me look pervy or otherwise revealed any information about me.
I don't know why I bothered doing this, as there was a gentleman-- another regular-- who on more than one occasion stayed inside until they closed at midnight, watching porn at the computer closest to the Internet Proctor, who remained quite unperturbed.
It wasn't depraved porn or anything, but if BIG HARD COCKS AND BIG FAKE BOOBS BOUNCING ALL OVER THE SCREEN don't raise an eyebrow, then why should I furtively glance around and navigate away from a picture of a Lindsay Lohan nip-slip?
Anyway, I was about to do that just now, in my own room, on my own computer, and then I realized I don't have to, that only I see this screen and that I could set really gross porn as my wallpaper if I wanted to!
A Google Image Search for "really gross porn" led me to a number of disappointingly inoffensive pictures, but also to this article, which is from January but brand new to me:
"BON APPETIT," said Chilean artist Marco Evaristti as he presented his friends with his newest creation: meatballs cooked with fat from his own body, extracted by liposuction.
It's really comforting to know that there is someone out there who is this dedicated. I'm serious. I'm sure a lot of people have had this idea while sitting around joking with their friends, or when they had to go to the store for meatball lard but didn't feel like leaving the house. But who actually takes all the steps necessary to pull it off?
I wonder if the friends he asked to eat him gloated to the ones he didn't. I bet it gets brought up a lot in "Never Have I Ever."
I signed up to read a passage from the Harry Potter books at Barnes & Noble next Friday, so I'm going to practice now. Voices? Oh, you better believe it.
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I suggest you play one character as if he's being portrayed by Ricky Gervais, but not just Ricky Gervais, but Ricky Gervais as Andy Millman (from Extras) after his sitcom is big, thus meaning his catch phrase would have to be worked in. " 'ELLO THERE 'ARRY PAW'UH! Are you havin' a laugh? Is he havin' a laugh?"
And then in walks an evil sorcerer...oh, no, it's just Barry from Eastenders.
(Yes, I did just watch both seasons of Extras in the span of 2 days, why do you ask?)
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